PSA: You Are NOT Alone

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The journey you take in this life may feel as though you walk it all alone, and in some of the most beautiful ways, sure you do… but, even though there may be moments where you are in a room all alone, or rather are in a room with someone else and feel all alone, you in fact are not.

Isolation is an incredible deception because it tells you that you are the only person going through what you are experiencing. Yes, there are unique factors to the situation you find yourself in, it is after all your life; however, in reality, there are roughly 7.8 billion people on the planet, and many are experiencing the same thing as you are, just different versions.

I’ll never forget when I spoke at a Reclaim Your Voice event in Toronto back in 2016. I discussed my experience being hospitalized for mental health issues against my will and how difficult that was for my trust connections afterwards. At Reclaim Your Voice events, participants will write down notes for the speakers to read when the day is done. I received a note from one person in the group saying that while I was speaking about the psych ward and what happened with my family, he felt as though I was describing his life. He thanked me for speaking that day and then the note came to a close. I will never forget looking at the cue card sized note and thinking to myself, “wow, other people have been through this as well. I am not alone.

Isolation is a liar, and a popular one at that. Feelings of being alone in your experience are not necessarily accurate.Yes, you may experience periods of solitude or even estrangement from others in your life, but even in that solo journey comes the reality that others are going at it alone as well.

This holiday season, do what is right by you when you celebrate. Make the day special for you even if you cannot be with your loved ones outside of your home. Do something you love to do, or even just something comforting, and enjoy your time to yourself. 2020 has presented unique challenges for us all, and even though we are all going through it alone, we are still in this together.

London Mind Fit Sessions: Ep. 1 – Diagnosis

It’s been a while since I have posted on London Mind Fit. That has been deliberate. I was going through a lot on my own and didn’t feel it was appropriate to bring you on that potentially tumultuous journey with me. I was right.

Back at the beginning of lockdowns, I began to think about how to create a mental health mini-podcast series. I wanted for it to be on point, which means that I needed to be. Finally, the first episode of London Mind Fit Sessions has come together! The subject matter for the first episode is one that is heavy to a lot of people within the mental health field: diagnosis.

To watch or listen to the first episode of London Mind Fit Sessions click play below.

How To Conduct A “Self-Interview” While You Heal

To kick off Mental Health Awareness Month on London Mind Fit, I am going to start with a very important technique that I used during recovery. In fact, it’s something I continue to use and see myself using for a long time. It’s called a “self-interview.”

At a time when the majority of the world is in, or emerging from, some sort of lockdown, collective mental stability is essential right now. Maintaining our critical thinking at this time is more important than anything but making sure not to lose ourselves and what is important to us is another.

No matter where you are on your journey of healing or self-discovery, I find it helps to periodically conduct a “self-interview”. I started this practice when I was in a debilitating depression where my self-expression was practically null. When I began interviewing myself I did it verbally because I wanted to hone my verbal skills back to the level of expression they were at before, or better, and through this practice and other exercises as well, I recovered.

Recovery is a process, one that I continue to be in every single day. This is what I committed to and what is most important, and I have seen the results of putting my mental health first help transform my life for the better. Improvement is what is important here, not achieving some sort of image of perfection.

A self-interview is simple, although for some it may be harder to complete than others. That’s okay though. Some self-interviews are very emotional because we are the ones asking the questions, and when it comes down to it, we want the answers to the big ones. If you’re not sure where to start, perhaps consider setting the lighting to one you are comfortable with and meditating first. Or, if you’re ready, dive right in!

Aim to ask yourself around 5 questions but don’t be disappointed if you start with less or even go over. The idea is to not overdo it but also to get to a good place in your responses, and believe me, the responses can be revealing.

You can conduct a self-interview verbally or in writing, and I would recommend doing the writing by hand and the verbal interview definitely when you are alone. I am a writer. Sometimes I use dialogue to illustrate a point, so writing in someone else’s voice is something that comes naturally to me. But this is something ANYONE can do. You just have to believe that you can.

If you find that it’s just not working but you’re committed to seeing what you find out about yourself and how it helps you with your freedom of expression & communication skills, start with brainstorming labels of identities that you associate with. Then use some of those labels that you identify with to help guide your questions like an interviewer looking at you would.

If you want to hear a little bit more about the self-interview and the origins of this practice in my healing process listen to the episode of The Eric Ibey Podcast where I discuss it.

Healing is a journey we all take, and mental health is something that affects everyone. You have a mind right? It’s in your body, right?  So, therefore by law it must also be subject to at least some of the same principles as the rest of the physical form even if it has its differences. Well, I applied the concept of repetition in exercises like for a physical workout towards my brain at a time when everything looked bleak and got out of it. Now that I’m in this place, I’m going to do everything in my power to stay here and continue to improve. In the process, I am also in a place to share the journey with others.

Balance is essential, but learning who you are in life can help any person, whether these words resonate with you or not. For me, the self-interview helps when I need some unscrambling, venting, clarifying, or healing. For you, perhaps you can find that it is helpful in different ways. But whichever way you look at it, you really don’t have anything to lose in trying it out.

The one fear you have to overcome prior is finding out the truth about yourself. The intention and expectation is that you will answer these questions honestly, otherwise you will get no where. You are supposed to learn what you want to know about YOU, not someone else.

Another great tip is to envision your favourite interviewer asking you the questions. I visualized Barbara Walters and Oprah to start, and now I don’t need to envision anyone else doing the asking.

An example question and answer from a written self-interview I did in 2019 is:

Q. What is it about mental health that makes you so interested in the field?

A. The fact that I had accomplished as much learning about health, had experience in the field, and an attentive eye on the mental health crisis affecting our global community and yet, until my bipolar diagnosis, I didn’t know the full extent of what mental health was. How deep it could go and how complex it can be.

The answer goes on for another long paragraph, but you get the idea. Ask yourself things you would want to know about yourself and go from there. This sample question is from a 6-question long interview that I conducted at a time when I needed to make, what to me was a big decision. I may not have come to the decision through the interview immediately, but it helped me in the process to see things clearer.

Make no apologies for what you do to maintain your mental health and never assume that it does not apply to you to do some work because there was a day when I had no diagnoses or real issues to speak of. Prevention is key to avoiding any type of crisis. Who cares if you look silly to someone else? It’s your mind, and it deserves some attention and challenging exercise sometimes.

If you’re looking for a place to start with your mental health, this is an effective practice to throw into the mix.

And if it doesn’t work for you, cool, but it could work for someone else who needs it.

It worked for me.

London Mind Fit & The Eric Ibey Podcast

In 2013 I told myself, “I can recover”. In 2020 I realized I did recover. All of my prayers for how I wanted to heal mentally had been answered. I then created londonmindfit.com, because I finally felt ready to share the hard earned lessons I had learned with others in a real way. I want for London Mind Fit to be another mental health resource, knowing the caveat that my greatest experience in the field is from the perspective of a diagnosed member of the mental health community.

I started my journey with the mental health field as a volunteer at a children’s hospital when I was 17. On my ward were mixed cases, however there were a lot of pre-teens on the floor suffering from eating disorders. I was heartbroken at how somehow a breakdown from their minds was pushing their bodies so far to the point of needing medical intervention. Physical medical intervention. 

Since my days as a volunteer I have been on the other end of the spectrum, being at one point a mental health in-patient myself, but for different reasons. I recovered from being in a zombie-like state only to discover that, ”My God! In 2013 I prayed to be in a place like I’m at today mentally, thank God I got here!” How did I get here you ask? Medical intervention and a lot of hard work on my part.

You can heal from an injury that you cannot see, such as an injury of the mind, but know that others will not believe you are healed until they see it with their own two eyes. But make sure that it’s your own perspective that you care the about most. I wish that I had the wisdom then to tell those young girls what I know now, but I can do something…

Welcome to London Mind Fit, where the overarching belief and central mantra is “I can recover.” 

One of my commitments for this website is to bring fresh content for people who are struggling but also for those who just want to learn more about mental health. I had the pleasure of being a guest on The Eric Ibey Podcast and knew that the episode could be the best way to kick off London Mind Fit and I believe that it was.

In the episode I discuss my personal journey with mental health, trauma, and all that falls in between. I hope that sharing my story can help someone else.

Click here or on the image below to listen to the podcast.

Thank you to Eric for being such a great host. This is a conversation I will not be forgetting anytime soon!