5 Questions With… Kibbi Linga!

Los Angeles is known for its sunshine, but when I think of L.A. sun I immediately think of a dynamic ray of light coming from Cali called Kibbi Linga!

Kibbi Linga is a beyond talented artist, sharing her emotional artistic process online for all to see! Kibbi is a mental health warrior who paints through her PTSD pain and creates stunning pieces of artwork that are visual representations of what she feels inside. Her ability to express herself through art is even more impressive after you hear Kibbi’s responses to my 5 Questions!

I asked Kibbi if she wanted to participate in my new interview segment called “5 Questions With” and she thankfully agreed! I have wanted to interview Kibbi Linga for London Mind Fit since the website’s creation because Kibbi is so open about her mental health diagnosis and her therapeutic creative process. I knew that the interview would be abundant in wisdom and Kibbi did not disappoint! I asked my 5 burning questions and received a treasure trove of insight!

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A post shared by Kibbi Linga (@kibbi.spills.art)

1. You and I both suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and yet it is possible that our experiences of the condition are almost completely different. For instance, I get night terrors and flashbacks, but it is possible that you do not suffer from either and could still have PTSD. Over the years I have been able to find mechanisms to manage these symptoms, some days with greater success than others. Can you share with London Mind Fit readers what your experience of PTSD is like and how you have learned to work with this mental health condition?

My main experience with PTSD is underlying emotional pain. For me,
it showed up in many ways! Prior to embracing recovery, until age 30
I was exhibiting many dysfunctional and self destructive behaviors.
Until recovery, I lived in a world of denial so as I started to embrace
truth and my denial slowly shed, many new symptoms occurred! I
personally have a very chronic case of PTSD, so I acknowledge that
not all symptoms may be relatable, but for me I had many night
sweats, insomnia, flashbacks (one I couldn’t escape and had to go to
the emergency room), irritability, a compulsion to control, a
heartbreak from uncovering truth, a dislocated jaw, and extremely
tight muscles. It sounds hopeless, but for me I’ve been blessed with
many miracles since and many of these symptoms have subsided.

2. At what stage in your recovery did you discover art as a therapeutic outlet? Have you always been an artist?

I found art 6 months into my recovery, in May of 2019. I was never an artist
before because I grew up in a very rigid upbringing that taught me not to
talk or express myself. When I started painting, I remembered my dreams
as a child of becoming an artist to escape my emotional pain. My dream
has been becoming more true every day, as well as my progress in
healing. As a child, I wanted to use art to escape my upbringing and its
impact on me and it’s happening today. For this, I am so grateful.

3. Your artistic process is inspiring to watch! Not only because of the methods you use to paint, nor the beautiful paintings created by the end, but you literally often work through your emotions on the camera as well. What inspired you to show that raw, real, and sometimes very emotional process on camera? How does it feel to create and share that process?

It feels amazing to share the whole process! Exposing my truth and art
heals me just as much as creating it! I am saddened that I don’t have the
time right now to create more YouTube videos expressing my process, but
I have faith that I’ll be able to return in the future! What inspires me to be
raw, real, emotional or vulnerable on camera is the healing that I gain from
it. When I expose my true self, I heal. It feels scary to do, but I hold faith
that it will heal me, and it always does to some degree! When I paint, I aim
to manifest my pain into something beautiful, and I find that being
authentic, raw and vulnerable helps me get there! That’s not to say it’s
easy, but it does help my “I don’t give a F what people think” muscle that I
get to continually strengthen!

4. In one of your latest Instagram posts you mention that “social media is a substantial tool” in your healing process. Can you explain to LMF readers how you have been able to use social media in a healing way and how they could possibly do the same?

Social media has been a (safe enough) place for me to express my art, get
validated for it and find a lot of support and encouragement! I started
Instagram because my feelings and truth were so unimaginable and ugly
that I struggled to receive validation. In essence, I knew that my art pieces
were my feelings, so I sought out validation from social media. Did I just log
on one day, post my art and receive the validation I was looking for? No, I
still had to “search” for it. I found other supportive souls or artists to connect
with on instagram, spent time engaging on the platform to grow, etc. As a
result, many people validated my art (my feelings) which REALLY helped
me in the beginning of my recovery because nobody else could validate
me. As my social media journey continued, I’ve expanded platforms and
use them all the same way. I have truly found a lot of love, support,
encouragement, inspiration and unity on the social media platforms! The
more love and authenticity I put out there, the more love and healing I
receive. I am grateful for social media in my recovery!

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A post shared by Kibbi Linga (@kibbi.spills.art)

5. What do you think one of the most common misconceptions are about those with PTSD specifically and mental health conditions in general?

This is a sensitive area for me, because I am saddened by my own
observations that society’s attitude is “don’t talk” and “dont’ feel.” To
me, this is denying the disease and others’ pain. I’ve heard many people from acquaintances to mental health professionals tell me that
I don’t have PTSD, until it became evident. In short, I think PTSD is
widely denied, yet the reason why there is evil in the world today. We,
as a whole, are not treating trauma and it is being repeated
generationally. In my utopia, when someone wants to be heard, they
would be heard! As negative as my answer may seem, my hope is
that whoever reads this has a piece of my heart filled with hope and
faith that they can find the validation and recovery path that they
need. I believe recovery is there for anyone who wants it, despite
society!
As far as society’s misconceptions on mental health conditions in
general, I am more hopeful. I find that people judging me while I’m being
brave and embracing pain is probably their own projection. I don’t care,
especially when I get to choose not to have them in my life. I am excited to
say that I’m witnessing more and more people embrace mental and
spiritual health, making it the “new sexy.” I have A LOT of hope in regards
to dampening the overall, negative mental health stigma that most of us are
used to. To end, I have hope and believe that love always wins!

Follow Kibbi Linga on Instagram at @kibbi.spills.art, on Twitter at @KibbiLinga, check out Kibbi’s official website here and all of Kibbi’s links here!

Dismantle Your Triggers

Dismantle your triggers.

Do not fear them.

Identify them.

Write them down.

Break them down.

Start at the root of the issue and analyze the effects of that epicenter.

Retrain your thoughts.

The process begins with the will to not be ruled by what isn’t truly real.

Mental health is more than a hashtag or a slogan, it is a necessary topic for conversation because it is such a “mystery” to so many. Whenever people recover from a mental health ordeal it is always a case of “how did they do it!?” or “it’s a miracle!!” While yes, it is God-sent in my opinion, it is not as enigmatic as some may make it seem. There are active things that you can do to build your mental strength. And on that same train of thought, there are active things that you can do to regain control of your thought processes. One such area that can be tackled, (and needs to be approached in that direct of a manner) is triggers. Triggers are deceptive as f*ck. They take truths and cloak them into lies rooted in paranoia. But like everything that can feel insurmountable, the process begins with BABY STEPS.

Now, first off, I want for you to be very conscious of the fact that dismantling your triggers involves a lot of emotional work. It requires rigorously monitoring your thoughts and actions until it becomes second nature. But YOU CAN DO THIS! Learning how to break down what sets off negative mental patterns is a highly empowering experience because, it allows you to live in what is true and real as opposed to what your deceptive associations dictate. When you begin, remember to BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Pull out the tissues if you need to and get busy working on what it is that has been controlling you.

Grab a pen.

Grab some paper.

And get to work!

The work that you will be doing will help you in every aspect of your life. When you look your triggers straight in the face, you show yourself that you are not afraid. You are choosing to not be afraid of what is going on around you and what is going on inside of you.

I dove head first into my triggers and rode the wave all the way through. Whether or not that was the right way to do it, I can’t be sure. But, here I am on the other side. I did meet some people along the way who were able to get through to me when my triggers had taken control. I am grateful to those people. I am grateful for the mirrors they held up to my face that forced me to see myself when more than a fog had set in.

Triggers can be highly disorienting. They can set you on a path of self-destruction that, if you had the tools in your mental health toolbox to deal with them prior, could have been avoided. This is what I am talking about when I refer to preventative measures. This is what is necessary for the future of our society. We need to approach mental health education as being necessary for our youth. It needs to equip our children with the knowledge of how to deal with mental struggles because let’s face it: we all struggle mentally at one point or another in our lifetimes. Whether it is a breakup, grieving from a death, or the results of trauma, we all go through some form of mental turmoil at one point or another in our lives. While most can relate on that point, not all of us experience intense and overwhelming triggers to the extent that they need to be unpacked. Well, there is no shame in being a part of that group, but it is a shame when you deny your membership because then you deny yourself optimal functioning and happiness.

If you need help, reach out to someone you trust. Do research on exactly what your issue is. Do not pull the ostrich approach when it comes to your triggers, your head deserves to be clear.

Anxiety can lead to chasing things that clarity will show you how to manifest.

— Dr. Thema (@drthema) July 9, 2020

Respect The Truth Seekers

Healing is a process that begins with identifying a problem. Tupac Shakur diagnosed what he saw in the streets with his concept of “T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E.” When you look at those two words together you can potentially think one thing, but in reality 2pac broke the term down letter by letter to mean something that most people I encounter do not expect. The acronym stands for “The Hate U Give Little Infants F*cks Everyone.” And in my opinion, there is no truer talk.

I have always loved Tupac. Ever since I first heard “Changes” on the radio I fell in love with his music and Hip-Hop as a whole. But, it wasn’t until I heard about T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. that I realized just how intertwined my purpose is with what Pac was talking about.

The hate people give children is what creates the pain we encounter daily in society today. Until the issues 2pac was addressing with T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. are properly addressed in our social system, we will continue to see hurt, and pain, and suffering.

I found out the meaning of the acronym around the time that I was working on my theory for the promotion of children’s rights, The Child-Centric Framework (CCF). CCF utilizes dominant psychological theories of human development to drive the point home that the relationships we have as children affect the dynamics we experience with others throughout our lives. CCF draws on the evolving nature of the social conception of the child and the proven effectiveness of macro level policy changes to help guide that evolution. I focused on this theory for a year, and realized at a certain point, that I was addressing 2pac’s concept of T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E with The Child-Centric Framework. CCF promotes child empowerment for an end result of healthy societal functioning. It is a perspective to begin a conversation from.

Tamir Rice would have turned 18 this week. 18. He would have finally become an adult. This week, as if almost overnight, Tamir Rice would have acquired all of the rights and responsibilities of being an adult in this world such as, the freedom to make his own decisions. But, because he was playing with a toy gun in a park, and was Black, he was shot by police and died as a result. Tamir Rice was 12 years old.

In 2012 Trayvon Martin was killed. People can play guessing games all they want as to why my mental health suffered at that time but they would be wrong. It was Trayvon’s death that I couldn’t handle. When I heard of his death, all I heard in my mind was a child being murdered. I had seen so many deaths and instances of police brutality online that when Trayvon was killed I broke open. That’s when I wrote my first rap verse. That’s when I turned to Hip-Hop to survive.

Tamir Rice was 12 when he died. Trayvon Martin was 17. Tamir Rice was playing, and Trayvon Martin was just getting Skittles. Please let that sink in. Do not forget their names because they were both someone’s sons and they were both valuable human beings in their own right.

Since George Floyd’s death, I have not known what to say publicly on this website, because I have mostly been having thoughtful conversations in private about it. But when I saw the above meme, “Healing comes from repairs. We need a systemic repair.” a quote by Mily Gomez, LPC, I knew how to contribute to this discourse properly.

Healing is something that needs to be done actively, so that eventually it can be done automatically, in order to allow you to proceed to the next level. Consider the concept of healing a physical injury, there are concrete stages that you take dependent on the type and severity. Well, our entire system is injured, so we must take steps in order to achieve the end result that we want, which is a healed new system.

When it comes to police brutality what we are seeing is generational policies embedded in white privilege isolating and targeting Black communities. As a collective, we cannot accept this as daily life. In a world that is over half a century down the road since the establishment of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) that outlines the rights of every citizen globally, how can we accept the systematic murders of innocent people for any reason. How can we accept the ignorance of racism being as rampant as it is in countries as wealthy as the United States, where it is commonplace to be harassed simply for being Black. Just as Tupac identified the root issue of T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E., we must identify the root issue that is plaguing every single one of us, every single day, due to the fact that racism can spread like diffusion. It can poison the mind, and it can create bias that costs others their livelihoods and even their lives.

The truth seekers are those who either actively or innately lift the veil of the lies that bind us and prevent us from living our lives more fully. The truth seekers can change the world, because to live in an ignorant state of any kind is to set yourself up for either failure of a major kind, or a sheltered and inaccurate existence.

As a starting point for a conversation about the root issues in our system, look at where the most pain resides. If you listen to 2pac’s music you will notice that he is often talking about pain, particularly the pain that he sees in his own life and his own community. Begin your journey of looking for solutions to the problem. Begin with T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E

Then, as a next step, think about The Child-Centric Framework as a springboard perspective to approach your problem solving for the issue. And from there, let your mind soar.

While thinking about potential solutions, think freely. Allow yourself to let a train of thought fail, so that you can eventually get to the one that does not. Trial and error is a process, and trial and error is often a process that is required in order to find the answer that succeeds in solving the problem.

I do not know the cure to racism. I do not know the cure to all of the root systemic issues that infect our society. I do not know how to solve all of our problems. But I do know some things when it comes to human rights. And I know that the bottom line is that everyone deserves to have them, not just those whose complexion matches the authority’s opinion of who should receive fair treatment.

The Child-Centric Framework was created in response to my identification of a mental health crisis across the globe. I saw a problem and I chose to address it by creating a framework based on a hunch. I knew that children’s rights was a part of the answer, it just wasn’t until I dove into the research, finished the theory, and then delved deeper into 2pac’s concept of T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. that I realized just how potentially powerful CCF truly is.

Racism is an issue that affects everything, because like Pac said, “the hate you give little infants f*cks everyone”.

Ain’t that the truth.

How To Conduct A “Self-Interview” While You Heal

To kick off Mental Health Awareness Month on London Mind Fit, I am going to start with a very important technique that I used during recovery. In fact, it’s something I continue to use and see myself using for a long time. It’s called a “self-interview.”

At a time when the majority of the world is in, or emerging from, some sort of lockdown, collective mental stability is essential right now. Maintaining our critical thinking at this time is more important than anything but making sure not to lose ourselves and what is important to us is another.

No matter where you are on your journey of healing or self-discovery, I find it helps to periodically conduct a “self-interview”. I started this practice when I was in a debilitating depression where my self-expression was practically null. When I began interviewing myself I did it verbally because I wanted to hone my verbal skills back to the level of expression they were at before, or better, and through this practice and other exercises as well, I recovered.

Recovery is a process, one that I continue to be in every single day. This is what I committed to and what is most important, and I have seen the results of putting my mental health first help transform my life for the better. Improvement is what is important here, not achieving some sort of image of perfection.

A self-interview is simple, although for some it may be harder to complete than others. That’s okay though. Some self-interviews are very emotional because we are the ones asking the questions, and when it comes down to it, we want the answers to the big ones. If you’re not sure where to start, perhaps consider setting the lighting to one you are comfortable with and meditating first. Or, if you’re ready, dive right in!

Aim to ask yourself around 5 questions but don’t be disappointed if you start with less or even go over. The idea is to not overdo it but also to get to a good place in your responses, and believe me, the responses can be revealing.

You can conduct a self-interview verbally or in writing, and I would recommend doing the writing by hand and the verbal interview definitely when you are alone. I am a writer. Sometimes I use dialogue to illustrate a point, so writing in someone else’s voice is something that comes naturally to me. But this is something ANYONE can do. You just have to believe that you can.

If you find that it’s just not working but you’re committed to seeing what you find out about yourself and how it helps you with your freedom of expression & communication skills, start with brainstorming labels of identities that you associate with. Then use some of those labels that you identify with to help guide your questions like an interviewer looking at you would.

If you want to hear a little bit more about the self-interview and the origins of this practice in my healing process listen to the episode of The Eric Ibey Podcast where I discuss it.

Healing is a journey we all take, and mental health is something that affects everyone. You have a mind right? It’s in your body, right?  So, therefore by law it must also be subject to at least some of the same principles as the rest of the physical form even if it has its differences. Well, I applied the concept of repetition in exercises like for a physical workout towards my brain at a time when everything looked bleak and got out of it. Now that I’m in this place, I’m going to do everything in my power to stay here and continue to improve. In the process, I am also in a place to share the journey with others.

Balance is essential, but learning who you are in life can help any person, whether these words resonate with you or not. For me, the self-interview helps when I need some unscrambling, venting, clarifying, or healing. For you, perhaps you can find that it is helpful in different ways. But whichever way you look at it, you really don’t have anything to lose in trying it out.

The one fear you have to overcome prior is finding out the truth about yourself. The intention and expectation is that you will answer these questions honestly, otherwise you will get no where. You are supposed to learn what you want to know about YOU, not someone else.

Another great tip is to envision your favourite interviewer asking you the questions. I visualized Barbara Walters and Oprah to start, and now I don’t need to envision anyone else doing the asking.

An example question and answer from a written self-interview I did in 2019 is:

Q. What is it about mental health that makes you so interested in the field?

A. The fact that I had accomplished as much learning about health, had experience in the field, and an attentive eye on the mental health crisis affecting our global community and yet, until my bipolar diagnosis, I didn’t know the full extent of what mental health was. How deep it could go and how complex it can be.

The answer goes on for another long paragraph, but you get the idea. Ask yourself things you would want to know about yourself and go from there. This sample question is from a 6-question long interview that I conducted at a time when I needed to make, what to me was a big decision. I may not have come to the decision through the interview immediately, but it helped me in the process to see things clearer.

Make no apologies for what you do to maintain your mental health and never assume that it does not apply to you to do some work because there was a day when I had no diagnoses or real issues to speak of. Prevention is key to avoiding any type of crisis. Who cares if you look silly to someone else? It’s your mind, and it deserves some attention and challenging exercise sometimes.

If you’re looking for a place to start with your mental health, this is an effective practice to throw into the mix.

And if it doesn’t work for you, cool, but it could work for someone else who needs it.

It worked for me.